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Confessions From The Girl Who “Has It All Together”


Don’t underestimate the support that your “good kids” need. Don’t forget to be an open ear to the ones that make good grades, the ones that are over-achievers, the ones that “do everything right”, the ones that “have it all together.” Often those are the ones that struggle with imposter-syndrome and depression the most. They often battle insecurities, suicidal thoughts, and self-harm more than they lead on to others; because they have an image to maintain and don’t want to be seen as a fraud, or because they fear no one will take their feelings seriously since they “have everything going for them.”


Children of God are always at war against Satan and he does not discriminate against who he chooses to target; whether it be the “underdog” or the one that “has it all.”


If you have a person in your life that “has it all together”- whether it be your child, your spouse, a friend, a sibling- don’t neglect to check on them. Don’t put them up on pedestals so they can fall down but pray for them so they can be lifted up. Don’t assume that they don’t battle their own demons or that they don’t have their own personal struggles. Remind them that they are still valuable even if they fail at something. Remind them that their value as a person is in Christ Jesus, not in their accomplishments. Don’t neglect to tell them that you are proud of them and that you are rooting for them; they might not seem like they need encouragement, since they “have it all together”, but I promise you, they do not see themselves the way you see them. And that reminder goes a long way more so than you may think.


To all of my fellow straight-A, high-achieving, high-accomplished type-A, driven types: You are loved. Your feelings matter. Your insecurities are valid. You are just as human and a lowly sinner as everyone else. Even though everyone sees you as the one that “has it all together”, I understand that you may not see yourself that way (because I certainly never saw myself the way other people see me). I understand that you might have had friends and siblings who shut you out or mistreated you, because they didn’t see you as a genuine person with love to give, but as competition and a threat.


Don’t listen to Satan’s lies that you can’t be authentic and transparent in your brokenness, in your flaws, and in your insecurities- because that is when Christ becomes glorified in us the most. Don’t listen to Satan’s lies that you will be loved any less or that you’ll be judged if you don’t live up to certain expectations placed upon you by others, or even yourself. Because no matter how much we seemingly “have it all together”, we ALL fail God daily, yet He never stops loving us unconditionally. You have permission to be a beautiful, broken, Jesus-loving mess and not to have to feel like you have to impress people all the time. If you battle depression or anxiety, or have even contemplated suicide, don’t be ashamed to talk about your feelings to those that care about you.


I have always been the girl who “had it all together.” I also didn’t always get the support I needed because no one thought I needed it. Before I found Christ, I always believed that my identity was rooted in what I accomplished, how many A’s I received, how many scholarships and awards I received. I felt like I always needed to perform like a wind-up doll so that I wouldn’t disappoint my family. But after growing in Christ and maturing in my faith over the years, I am now learning that the only one who I need to please is God- and He doesn’t expect me to perform or to “have it all together”, but to simply be intentional in my walk, love Him with all my heart, serve Him humbly, and seek Him daily. Through Him, I have learned that my identity is not in what I do, but what He has done for me on the cross. Through Him, I have learned to give myself grace when I fall short, because He gives me abundant grace when I fail Him daily and He gives me strength when I am weak.


“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”- 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10.


2 Responses

  1. So many times, this has-it-all-together stuff is pushed on folks in the church. While human frailty is not an excuse to sin, the fact is we are all human and we need help when we don’t have it all together. If Christians cannot trust each other, where else is there to turn?