Die to Your Desires

Sometimes we desire things that are not of God, however God often places certain desires in our hearts. How do we know which of our desires are of God and which ones are not? If we are intentional about submitting ourselves in the will of God, we shall pray that the Lord’s desires become our desires. We shall desire His will over our own will. Before we can desire God’s will over our own, we have to ask God’s help to die to our desires. (“Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.”– Matthew 6:10). (“Not my will, but Yours be done.”- Mark 14:36).

Sometimes we have to die to our dreams and our deepest desires in order for God to give birth to them. When I was in my early 20s, I wanted nothing more than for God to bring me the love of my life and to be married. My desire was so strong that it became an idol in my heart, and I was in pursuit of fulfilling that desire more than I was in the pursuit of the will of God. I didn’t want to leave my single life and my future marriage in His hands, because I wanted control over it. I thought I could manifest my desire sooner if I retained control over it. The thought of dying single and never experiencing the intimacy of a husband and the joy of motherhood terrified me. I did not look to the future with hope and expectancy, but with fear and anxiety. My walk with Christ was saturated with distrust in God, discontentment, and forever chasing after what had seemed like a pipe dream.

Eventually I got sick and tired of using my own strength and my own power to give birth to my dream. I was tired of living in fear of the unknown. I was tired of feeling like I would never be fulfilled or complete if I didn’t get what I wanted. I was finally convicted that I needed to surrender this area of my life to the Lord and choose to put my trust in the fact that He knew what was best for me. Whatever life He had planned for me, whether it was to serve Him as a married woman or a single woman, I trusted that He would give me contentment and joy in whatever He chooses to bless me with.

After I entrusted my desire in my Father’s hands and grew in contentment in my single season, the following year, He had confirmed that my desire for marriage was indeed from Him, and He promised me that He would bring it to pass at the appointed time. He specifically said to me, “Child, I have heard your continuous prayers and petitions for a husband, so I gave you one.” The year 2020 was the year when He had poured out so much knowledge of His promises to me. He spoke to me personally about characteristics of my future husband and how He was working in his heart. He spoke to me how He was working in my heart to become more submissive. He spoke to me about the purpose of our marriage and how our marriage would be of influence for the Kingdom of God. He was giving me a more tender heart to unconditionally love those around me and blessed me with more opportunities to serve Him. He placed me in certain ministries that was dedicated to preparing singles for marriage and consistently praying & fasting over our future spouses. I was touched by not only one, but two prophetic words that God would give me a husband that would love God and lead me closer to Him. I also received a prophetic word about the child that He would give me and the things that He ordained my child to do for His Kingdom.

But I had received none of these things from God until I became fully surrendered to His will. It was not until I had placed my dreams on an alter before Him and I sought first His Kingdom until God graciously gave the promises that the fulfillment of my life-long dreams was already written in His beautiful story for me, which continues to unfold day by day. And I don’t even have to do anything in my own power to manifest those dreams. I just need to stay rooted in the Lord and be led by the Holy Spirit. God will take care of the rest.

When I gave God the reigns over every area of my life, including my single life, confirmations of the desires He had placed inside of me flowed effortlessly into my life, and all arrows pointed towards me receiving the gift of marriage and a family.

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”– Psalm 37:4