Breaking Free From People Bondage

The definition of bondage is “the state of being a slave.” One of the privileges of being saved by the Lord Jesus Christ and a child of the most-high God is that we have the power within us to be set free from bondage. Since I began law school nearly two years ago, the Lord has tested me in many ways. During these tests He has made me realize that I was a victim of people bondage. I was a slave to everyone else’s opinions and obsessed with getting everyone to like me and approve of me. I struggle with social anxiety in which I have sought counseling and psychiatric help for, but in order to be fully in control of my anxiety, I had to surrender it to the Lord and pray to be set free from other people. 

When I first entered law school as 1L, I was so desperate to make friends. But that made me obsessed with getting people to like me, which brought me deep hurt when they didn’t like me and didn’t want to be friends with me. I felt that if someone did not want to be friends with me or study with me then it was a reflection on me as a person and that there was something wrong with me. I’ve been acquainted with a few people that simply just did not like me. No matter how kind and friendly I was, they did not want to talk to me and make friendship. No matter how good my outlines were or how knowledgeable I was, they did not want to study with me. I became bitter and grew to hate them. Every time I saw them in the halls I wanted to run over them with my car (not very Christ-like, I know lol). I hated them for not liking me. I hated them for rejecting me. This caused me to be scared to engage with anyone else. I walked around as if there was a knife in my back and I was scared to even say “hi” to anyone because I was so scared that they hated me too. I thought that if they hated me, then everyone else must hate me, too. This also led me to question my friendships that I had with other people. I was scared that they all secretly hated me too and I found myself gripping so tightly to the relationships I still had, because I was afraid to lose them too. I continually sought affirmation from them to assure me that there was nothing wrong with me and that they still liked me.

The Lord made me realize that I was a prisoner. I was allowing myself to be in bondage with what other people thought of me. Because of this, it was taking over my mind, my life, my relationships with other people, and it distracted me from my identity in Christ. My bondage with people took root in my spirit and began to manifest fruits of hate, bitterness, hurt, angst, and insecurity that I constantly carried around with me. This opened cracks for Satan to work in my mind by planting lies such as “I was not worthy of friendship with anyone” and “everyone hates me” and “I have no purpose in anyone’s lives” and “no one cares about me.” I was having suicidal thoughts and I even almost fell back in the cycle of inflicting self-harm.

I’ve had to beg God to help me forgive the people that did not like me. I’ve had to beg Him to set me free from the bondage I’ve allowed myself to be in with them. I’ve had to learn to trust God that He would provide me with all of His needs according to His riches and glory in Christ Jesus, and that included my friends. I’ve had to trust God that sometimes He creates forks in the road and there are some people we are just not meant to do life with. I’ve had to accept that no matter how nice I am, how kind I am, or how smart I am, some people are just not going to like me and not want anything to do with me… and that it is okay.

It’s pointless to be a slave to other people’s opinions. One day when I was crying at school over a girl friend that had abandoned me, a professor took me into his office and he said, “You’re crying over someone who is not even thinking about you and does not even care about you.” It made me realize how foolish it was to allow someone so insignificant (and someone I was insignificant to), to have power over my emotions and my own identity when I have the power of Christ Jesus inside me.

Other people’s opinions are not what define you, they are not your identity, and they do not have power to control you. They only have as much power to control you as you allow them. Instead of allowing their opinions to open doors for Satan to work in your mind, praise God that you have the power of Christ Jesus living inside you to set you free from any type of bondage and to cast it out in His name. Rejoice in the purpose that God has given you and rejoice in your identity in Christ. Who the Son sets free is truly free- free from sin and free from people bondage. So start embracing your freedom in Christ Jesus today!