Fear in disguise

Sometimes we let our love or respect for people cloud our judgment. We think that if we excuse certain behaviors or acts, God does it too. We think that God accepts certain behaviors and that it should get a pass because we are Christians and we are called to love, be kind, and be forgiving. However, the goal as a Christian is for us to all come to repentance. It’s to get on our knees to God and confess our sins through the conviction of the Holy Spirit, to perform and display a beautiful transformation while developing Christ-like character.

So, if you are balanced with Christ but someone else is unbalanced you have to step back and let the Holy Spirit do His work. Accepting wrong behavior enables and unfortunately empowers that person which can sometimes provoke us to turn down our Christ behavior for an ungodly one because we’re being treated unfairly. Which in most cases leads us to rebel against God because the person failed to treat you with Christ-like character you deserved. And in moments like that it’s hard to not breakdown, trust me I know.

The good part is, God understands. When you go through abuse, he’s furious, upset, sad, disappointed but He wants us to depend on Him to lead us out of those situations and keep us away from ever being in those types of situations period. It’s okay to express your feelings, but please never let your feelings you experience from abuse or unfair treatment to drive you  straight into sin, allow your heart to grow cold or to give up. It’s good to use this opportunity to get close with our Heavenly Father as a time to run to God’s everlasting arms and cry out to Him about how you feel instead of running away from God into a world that doesn’t have our best interest at heart. Humans, (broken, hurt, abusive, traumatized) will fail you but God never will for He is a faithful and perfect God, for there is none righteous like Him.

Sometimes our perspective of Christ causes us to stay in situations longer than we are supposed to. Sometimes we’re in places that Christ has left because their hearts aren’t truly open to receiving the Christ in you. We’re very open to receiving people but even Christ had His boundaries because He knew their intentions weren’t pure.

He was kind but He wasn’t soft. He was humble but He was never weak. He knew who He was and where He was from, but He never let anyone treat Him a certain way because He allowed it to happen for our sakes. He let certain people mistreat Him to show them that they couldn’t defeat Him, no matter how much they abused Him. Christ’s assignment was to take our beating for the punishment of our sins. We aren’t called to take the beating for the punishment of our sins from others because Christ already has!

“Perfect love casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment” 1 John 4:18

Fear isn’t equivalent to perfect love. Fear is scared of perfect love; fear is so scared of love it doesn’t know how to respond to such kindness but to take advantage of it. People abusing others are punishing people because they themselves were abused and it’s all fear driven. They’re abusing or beating people to put fear in a person and to make them feel intimidated. They’re intentions aren’t to love people it’s to scare people into obeying them as if they are God. Christ was perfect and He showed us His perfect love by dying on the cross for us. Every time we take the beating or abuse from someone (emotional, physical, spiritual, etc) we’re putting ourselves on a cross that Christ has already overcome. That is not the type of suffering or pain Christ said we are supposed to be enduring. But because the enemy hates our soul, he will make sure to do all he can to make sure we suffer, unfortunately. The truth is we have an opposer, but God has given us the power to overcome our opposer not take his beatings!

We honestly love to see the good in people and to never give our hopes up about them, hoping that one day they’d just wake up and automatically be changed (fingers crossed right?), so we stay taking the punishment and that’s a reason why we stay in certain relationships. Even though they’re not portraying Christ-like character we let people in our lives take advantage of our forgiveness and meekness. We ignore the red flags hoping that one day it will turn green, and honestly, we’d be waiting for an eternity.

Everywhere Christ stepped, God stepped bigger, no one was able to lay a finger on God’s Son because He had faith and courage in His father and the heavens. Every time Jesus spoke or defended Himself God protected Him from being touched until the appointed time for Him to die on the cross. There were a lot of times where His own people were plotting to take Him out, but He easily slipped through the crowds unharmed. And although there was no evidence of His abuse physically, he suffered emotionally, mentally and spiritually. He went through things for us that we can’t handle but yet we still try to.

The sad part is as believers we use scripture to justify it or misquote the Bible, “God will never give you more than you can handle or bear”; “Honor your mother and father…”; “Children obey your parents…”; “Wives submit to your husbands…”; “Spare the rod, Spoil the child”; etc…

All of these and many more are either not in the Bible or are being manipulated/twisted into making someone do what the other person says to do.

“When we say God will never give us more than we can bear, we are saying that it is God who puts trouble in our lives. Is God a malevolent deity who weighs His children down with pain and suffering? No. The Bible teaches that our God is a loving Father who has plans for our good, and not to harm His children. Most of the suffering in the world comes from the devil and from the consequences of living in a fallen world full of sin, yet God usually gets blamed for every disaster and accident. While life may not always be fair, God is always good.” ~ Says, Jamaica Gleaner author of “Who tell yuh dat? the lies we believe – God will never give you more than you can bear – part I.”

Christ showed a beautiful example to us as God’s children when we go through moments like that. He always separated Himself, got on His knees and prayed, He cried out loud to our Abba. He could’ve easily ascended back up to heaven because of how harsh and nasty humans can be but He endured for us, God’s precious ones He died to save. Instead of giving up Christ gave into prayer. He pressed into our Heavenly Father and together they dominated the devil. They overcame the world and that’s exactly what we’re called to do.

We try to play the ‘savior’ role when in reality there’s only one Christ. That’s God’s Son who He’s called to be the Messiah, not you or I. We may be called but we’re definitely not called to go through what He went through because He did it for us, He went through it for us. Christ came to give us life, but the devil came to take that life away and there are people he uses to do just that.

When they were going to arrest Jesus, He free willingly turned Himself in. Before they could arrest Him, Peter stepped in and was ready to go to war. He cut off the High Priest’s servants ear thinking it was going to be a physical battle but Christ knew that it was a battle no one could see, a spiritual one. Even in the midst of His enemies arresting Him Jesus healed the servant’s ear. Jesus knew Peter would misunderstand the assignment and if He wanted to, Jesus could’ve literally taken out that whole army of so-called God’s representatives right then and there but His purpose was much bigger than them. In fact when they asked which one was Jesus, and Jesus replied “Here I am”, as soon as he spoke (I can imagine his voice smoothly vibrating through the air)  they all came to a reality that He was in fact the Messiah at least for a second. They all ended up getting scared and falling to the ground. Something spiritual had taken place but I believe because they were too stuck in their sins, they couldn’t let go of the pride that God really did send His Son to die for them. That they really were about to arrest their King, Lord, and Savior. Overall, Jesus wasn’t there to stop their wrongs they chose to never repent for. He didn’t come for the already perfect ones, He came for imperfect ones, the sinners who needed a Savior.

The chief priests, Pharisees, high priests, and false teachers, those who claim they are children of God was coming against the very person that was sent by God to save them. They valued their status in the temple more than they’re relationship with God. And how they treated His Son revealed that all along they weren’t His children. The abuse, the slapping, the disrespectful act of spitting in Jesus’ face showed their true colors, that they weren’t of God but of their ‘father the devil’.

Having a conversation with my mentor, she explained it so good to me how it’s impossible for us to be the ‘savior’. That the only person that’s meant to stick around and help someone change is a therapist. We all need therapists, counselors, mentors, teachers, etc.  It takes a family to raise a child.  And although our biological families sometimes can’t provide for us emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually, God has blessed us to be born into a family of believers who are called and equipped to help us, and there are those who decline the help of the Holy Spirit. We can’t step in and help them because we’re not called to do such a strong and powerful task as a therapist sometimes can. Our relationship affects our view of them that God wants us to see isn’t for us. That the person or people aren’t in God’s will for our lives. It clouds our judgment. We trade God’s truth for the manipulation and lust that’s being thrown at us leaving us confused. Things God is showing us we block it from our eye view because we think that we are called to forgive in moments where a person isn’t truly sorry. They just keep doing it again and again with no remorse.

God has a wonderful plan for us and to go through abuse is no where on the radar when he has come to save us, friends.  

I hope and pray this has encouraged someone to start their journey of healing. You may not be able to leave your situation but depending on God to shield and keep you as you get your life together you will be healed enough to walk into the promise land that’s waiting for you. Abuse, trauma, broken and sin free. God will build you into the person you were called to be to overcome the world because He is in you. By faith Christ lives in you, not to save those who don’t want Christ to save them but to save those who He has called you to. You have a story that people need to hear and being equipped to reach out to them is what we should do, not stay in relationships that mean us no good because in the spirit the enemy’s agenda is to do more harm to you than good to keep you from receiving the promises of God.