Registration at the Sheriff’s Office. Visits by deputies to verify your residence. Updates to even the most minute information, such as phone number changes. Difficulties in finding jobs. For many, difficulties in finding places to live also. Rejection by churches. Stigmatization by society. Scorn and backbiting from family members and other people. Potential danger from vigilantes. Personal information readily available online through the public Sex Offender Registry. These are challenges that registered sex offenders (RSOs) have to deal with, even a long time after their last offense and many years after leaving prison. Being on the registry is, in fact, a type of life sentence whether anyone realizes it or not.
On top of all that, “experts” cite grossly exaggerated recidivism statistics making it sound like nearly every RSO is just waiting for the next chance to commit a sex crime. They also frequently state that we cannot be cured. We are beyond all help and all hope, they say. Between all these problems and the constant reminders brought by registration compliance requirements, life can become very depressing if you are not careful. Can the RSO label be overcome? Maybe not in the sense of having to meet various requirements or jump over hurdles, but in your mind you most certainly can overcome the label. But how?
Outside of Christ, the picture is bleak indeed. In one’s own strength, the deviance that accompanies sexual offending can be a most formidable opponent. Only in this world do the lost have any chance of finding happiness. For RSOs that can be most difficult. But in Christ there is an abundance of hope—real hope:
1 Peter 1:3-5: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God through faith in salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
If you are lost and want to come to Christ, we show you how right on this website. If you are saved, you know that we of all Christians are challenged on whether we belong to Christ or not, whether God loves us or not.
Some of us have heard that certain sexual offenses cannot be forgiven. I heard that one myself about a month before I got saved. Of course, that was a demonic lie from Satan, the father of lies (John 8:44).Others may have the mistaken idea that sexual offenses equate to blaspheming the Holy Spirit, which is the unpardonable sin. No, this blasphemy is attributing the works of the Holy Spirit to Satan when one has enough knowledge to know better than that. Look at Jesus’s words in this passage (emphasis mine):
Matthew 12:31: “Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men.”
This forgiveness includes all sexual offenses. As a believer who also is an RSO you must keep that in mind always. Is there further Scriptural support for this claim? Absolutely, and remember, the Word of God is inspired; its ultimate author is the Holy Spirit (emphasis mine):
1 Corinthians 6:9-11: Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.
Like it or not, we who are RSOs are loathed by many. If you are not careful you can begin to loathe yourself and feel like God cannot use you. There is Scriptural hope in that sense also:
1 Corinthians 1:26-31: For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence. But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption—that, as it is written, “He who glories, let him glory in the LORD.”
As an RSO I deal with the struggles that all of us registered citizens face. I have lived the nightmare of thinking that I was incurable and even beyond the love of God. On top of that, I had been ordered to wear an ankle monitor for the rest of my life, a requirement which was later found to be unconstitutional. For over six and a half years I wore that scarlet letter, a reminder every moment of every day that I was a registered sex offender.
When I first started wearing the monitor I sank into a deep depression, thinking this was a sure sign that no matter how sorry I was for what I had done, God had not forgiven me nor would he ever. A prolonged backsliding episode punctuated by heavy drinking followed. After almost three months I suffered a stomach hemorrhage brought on by alcohol abuse and damage from gastric reflux. I could have died, but instead the bleeding stopped even while I was in the emergency room. It was during recovery from this episode that I began to realize God has a purpose for me on this earth. This is why I lived.
In March 2019, when the ankle monitor came off, I was overjoyed. Then, two to three months later, there came two church membership rejections within about five weeks of each other. Once more the doubts flared up. I wondered if these “Christians” were reflecting the way that God truly felt about me. Let me tell you, these doubts about our standing with God are deeply ingrained and it can take a long time to dispel them. I have come to understand that although consequences for our evil actions often remain even after we are saved, we are nonetheless loved by God and cleansed from our sins:
Romans 8:28-39: And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: “For Your sake we are killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.” Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
As a registered citizen who has looked into the black abyss of despair, lost sleep at night wondering if I was irrevocably damned by God, thinking that all hope was gone, I can tell you that life on the registry is doable. In your mind and in your heart you can overcome the label of RSO. Whether anyone else is on your side or not, the Lord is for you as a Christian and wants to save you if you are not already saved and Born Again. We, of It Ain’t Over Ministries are here for you too. Also, God in His great mercy and grace can also raise up people who will be for you, not against you. Do not let your status as an RSO define you. Instead, let the Word of God define you: Accepted in the beloved (Ephesians 1:3-6). You might have a record and consequences to deal with while living on this earth, but if your saved, then in heaven your name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life. As a great Christian song says, you are Redeemed! [1]
[1] From YouTube: Official Music Video by Big Daddy Weave, “Redeemed.” Retrieved 08/23/2024.
